unknowingly my eyes search
my head leans into the silence
searching for a stirring in the black
my hand itches to reach out
into the night that is not yet set
i have not known time till now
not felt the weight of this uncertainty
(knowing you are unaware of my presence)
i have not known what it means to wait
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Thursday, 24 June 2010
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Drunken painful rants...
Why is it that those of us who start out as losers, end losers? Just cause im used to being dumped... used and taken for granted, doesnt mean i want people to treat me that way... But it keeps happening... Dosent matter where i am or who with. What this girls problem is or if she really has one at all... none of it matters, as long as im at the receiving end of the bull shit and pain...
I feel like a moron tonight... for trusting someone.... for thinking that if i do the right thing things would work out... for putting so much effort into doing the right thing and being screwed over anyway.... i feel like a moron because even though i know the right thing gets me nowhere, gets me hurt, gets me pushed aside, i insist on taking only that path...and for believing that something good could come my way...
There is nothing to say that will rid me of my annoyance, nothing that will ease the pain... so im writing this instead... venting my frustration and hoping it will empty my mind and heart enough to let me rest tonight... (seeing as its 3 in the morning!)
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Beginning Improvisation on tuesdays...
Something i wrote first in my head while i was still in class... lets just say it counts as a personal reflection piece...!
Tuesday - the 6th of Oct.
Once a week I take a class called Beginning Improvisation, a requirement for freshmen who are dance thirds. Now, I am no stranger to improvisation exercises. Both in theater and dance I have explored the mind/body space that improvisation allows you to tap into. I have found a voice of my own in that space, which, let me clarify, is and hopefully always will be growing and transforming into newer things.
While I do believe the self-awareness and learning one gets from these explorations is limitless, I find myself bored and more importantly, unchallenged in these classes where we are discovering places I have already been. Spaces I have already created and re-created many times over.
I wonder when I think about it, if having to learn how to improvise is in fact as much of a contradiction in reality as it seems in my mind. How can you teach something that by definition is meant to be spontaneous and almost entirely self-generated? If improvisation in the performing arts context means to create something that you have never rehearsed before and do something without any preparation, then how can you learn it?
Unlike me, most of my classmates have never done this kind of thing before. And while the questions I posed in the previous paragraph seem reasonable, if not obvious, to me, I understand the need for these classes and this process. For my classmates this class is an introduction to their spontaneous selves. An icebreaker for them to get comfortable with a side of themselves they have probably never had to interact with in a serious, formal manner before now. And while this is usually a completely personal journey of discovery, a well-intentioned push at the starting line can’t hurt.
Tuesday - the 6th of Oct.
Once a week I take a class called Beginning Improvisation, a requirement for freshmen who are dance thirds. Now, I am no stranger to improvisation exercises. Both in theater and dance I have explored the mind/body space that improvisation allows you to tap into. I have found a voice of my own in that space, which, let me clarify, is and hopefully always will be growing and transforming into newer things.
While I do believe the self-awareness and learning one gets from these explorations is limitless, I find myself bored and more importantly, unchallenged in these classes where we are discovering places I have already been. Spaces I have already created and re-created many times over.
I wonder when I think about it, if having to learn how to improvise is in fact as much of a contradiction in reality as it seems in my mind. How can you teach something that by definition is meant to be spontaneous and almost entirely self-generated? If improvisation in the performing arts context means to create something that you have never rehearsed before and do something without any preparation, then how can you learn it?
Unlike me, most of my classmates have never done this kind of thing before. And while the questions I posed in the previous paragraph seem reasonable, if not obvious, to me, I understand the need for these classes and this process. For my classmates this class is an introduction to their spontaneous selves. An icebreaker for them to get comfortable with a side of themselves they have probably never had to interact with in a serious, formal manner before now. And while this is usually a completely personal journey of discovery, a well-intentioned push at the starting line can’t hurt.
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