a bad ending

Today i was sure nothing could make me feel bad or upset me... i was in such a fucking good mood! Why? because i found out from school that i did in fact make the mark that the IB world sets for us students to decide if we are worthy of the diploma certificate and that they were the ones who had made a mistake in checking my papers, not me!

So while floating in this happy state... or bubble if you will... i was hoping at least the day would pass me by without the inclusion of any sharp objects, so to speak! but i had no such luck... come nightfall and the aftermath India winning the 20/20 world cup thingy (which by the way, i admit was fun and credit to Pak, they played brilliantly)... drunkenness and men.... two things i dislike... especially put together... and well, some other things and details that i rather not mention for the sake of those i love... and for the rest too i suppose... but point being with a 8min episode i had to go through, my entire night was ruined... and the part that makes me angry is... i dont fucking deserve it!! Casue all i did was try and help someone who asked for it... but i guess thats just what u get! right?

the lover's back....

After a long time im feeling sparks of happiness inside me... like, real happiness... not the kind that just sits at the corner of your mind and reminds you its there when you're feeling sorry for yourself and when you're about to give up... This is the kind that fills you up... every inch of you... and that little corner is now for everything else... all the things that bring me down and make me want to run away... things i know i dont deserve to feel or go through (and its great to know in my heart that i dont deserve it).... this all happened when there was an exit of a certain overpowering shadow from my life... no, i wont give names...! lol.... anyway, i can breathe now that its gone... gone far away... far enough for its presence and darkness not to reach me! but for all the new people who its going to around now.... poor them!!!!

so, i feel like a new me... or maybe like the me i once used to be and missed so much! its nice... the angers all gone people.... now its only love love love.... just like it used to be!! :-D

i feel like a complete ass casue i cant seem to upload the bloody film anywhere!! but anyway, if anyone wants to see it i have a cd so.... yeah!

Tapping into the unknown

Sooooo.... mother darling.... or more appropriately, my boss/director has given us a new exploration project to do.... we'v been put in groups of 5 (there are 5 groups in all) consisting of 1 camera-man, 1 editor, 1 dancer, 1 musician and 1 director/writer each.... the task that has been given to us is that every group must decide on a poem each... it can be in any language and any form... and using this poem we were to make a small movie or short film, if you will! We are allowed to do anything we want as long as the video is between 1 and 5 mins and it was a must to use the poem as a major part of the film... and we have 5 days (starting yesterdya) to submit the final copy!!

Anyway, from about 4 poems (2 english ones, 1 guj and 1 hindi) we managed to select the one we liked the most this morning.... and its something written by me... so this is it...

'She writes on loose sheets of paper
floating about the room
she picks up her pen every so often
at a loss of words drives it through, tearing it
she writes on everything she finds
her slowly wearing jeans
invisibly on beautifully curved backs
on equally beautiful minds
women's of course, for men have neither

(But the trees don't have wounds)'

Will try and keep updating what is happening and how we are progressing, but if not will upload the end product once its done... :-)