(years of being the clown and the agony aunt for all my friends has put me in the place i am today, which is the following!)


So many of my friends who are supposed to be my 'closest' ones and all that jazz are unhappy with me right now... and here is the bloody thing! i am tired of negativity, tired of everyone moaning and groaning about how bad their lives are and how everyone is mean to them and how no body cares... well guess what... i dont give a damn anymore... i am tired of everyone wallowing in self pity... ur boy dumped you?! someone cheated on you? NEWS FLASH! your not the only one and crying about it forever OR feeling guilty will not help.... trust me this time will ya!

i refuse to make people feel good about themselves anymore... u got a problem, learn to solve it on ur own... ur not always gonna have someone to help you... surely not me! Nope! No more! Be self sufficient, its an essential survival skill or did u never notice...?!

Heres another thing, your not the only ones with issues... and just cause i dont go around announcing whats making my life hell doesn't mean my life is one big chunk of paradise! I assure you, though u might think ur problems are gigantic and worse than everyone else's... your probably better off than most of our populations... so we should be ashamed of ourselves for being such whiny little brats!


what im getting at here is very simple... so lets all take a deep breath and say it together... GET OVER IT!!!!

write

i have nothing to write about
for i am not in pain
well, not enough to want to write about!

i have nothing to write about
im not feeling overjoyed
merely happy just doesnt work the same

i have nothing to write about
so im writing about writing
and damn, this is the lamest write on earth!

a bad ending

Today i was sure nothing could make me feel bad or upset me... i was in such a fucking good mood! Why? because i found out from school that i did in fact make the mark that the IB world sets for us students to decide if we are worthy of the diploma certificate and that they were the ones who had made a mistake in checking my papers, not me!

So while floating in this happy state... or bubble if you will... i was hoping at least the day would pass me by without the inclusion of any sharp objects, so to speak! but i had no such luck... come nightfall and the aftermath India winning the 20/20 world cup thingy (which by the way, i admit was fun and credit to Pak, they played brilliantly)... drunkenness and men.... two things i dislike... especially put together... and well, some other things and details that i rather not mention for the sake of those i love... and for the rest too i suppose... but point being with a 8min episode i had to go through, my entire night was ruined... and the part that makes me angry is... i dont fucking deserve it!! Casue all i did was try and help someone who asked for it... but i guess thats just what u get! right?

the lover's back....

After a long time im feeling sparks of happiness inside me... like, real happiness... not the kind that just sits at the corner of your mind and reminds you its there when you're feeling sorry for yourself and when you're about to give up... This is the kind that fills you up... every inch of you... and that little corner is now for everything else... all the things that bring me down and make me want to run away... things i know i dont deserve to feel or go through (and its great to know in my heart that i dont deserve it).... this all happened when there was an exit of a certain overpowering shadow from my life... no, i wont give names...! lol.... anyway, i can breathe now that its gone... gone far away... far enough for its presence and darkness not to reach me! but for all the new people who its going to around now.... poor them!!!!

so, i feel like a new me... or maybe like the me i once used to be and missed so much! its nice... the angers all gone people.... now its only love love love.... just like it used to be!! :-D