Kubla Khan (1816)

I had an amazing English Lit. teacher (yes you harmony!) in my last two years of school... and amongst many things she taught me, in and out of class... at some point she brought this for us to read and work on... Kubla Khan... who knows what about it caught my eye... but from the first time i read it in class... from those 2 hours we worked on it... the endless times i re read it and she spoke about it... told us how it got written... why it wasnt ever completed... I fell in love with it...

today all of a sudden i thought of it again.. and realised i hadnt read it in a long time... i could barely remember what it was about or why i liked it... but i guess it doesnt really matter why... thats something i love about some kinds of poetry... you dont have to have a reason to enjoy it... well, here it is... for whoever wants to read it... and for me, whnever i want to read it...

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree :
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round :
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree ;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

But oh ! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover !
A savage place ! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover !
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced :
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail :
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean :
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war !
The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves ;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.

It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice !

A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw :
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,

To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome ! those caves of ice !
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware ! Beware !
His flashing eyes, his floating hair !
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.


-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

write

i have nothing to write about
for i am not in pain
well, not enough to want to write about!

i have nothing to write about
im not feeling overjoyed
merely happy just doesnt work the same

i have nothing to write about
so im writing about writing
and damn, this is the lamest write on earth!

Blah...

there are two sides of me... and two sides of those two... and that goes on... i try and not pay attention to the ones too far down the line!! he he... its too hard to keep track of wants and needs otherwise...!!!

lately iv been having this strange argument... or more like discussion/debate with myself... i cant sya really what it is.. i wouldnt be able to explain... its about something that can in reality only be decided over time... i have to wait a bit and i will know automatically... but of course this restless me will think about it over and over again hoping i can find a way to prepare myself before then... make the whole thing smoother and pre-planned in my head! something i have a habit of doing... so everything can be just right... me in the perfect light.... and you of course... already there...! This is all about perception and reality... neither of which can really be defined unfortunately...

i guess il just have to wait and see... maybe its my turn to improvise!! :-D

Sniffing rain!!!!!

It smells like distant rain... must be the result of a downpour somewhere. Its dark as evening and its not even time for tea yet. But this whether is welcomed with open arms... by me that is. And maybe a couple of others, sitting in their offices or balconies bored with the morose world around them. All of us are just there... letting the air that smells so good encompass us for those five minutes and we close our eyes and imagine its all better. Everybody is trying to get away from something. Everybody wants something else... and here is that escape. For me of course its mainly only the rain that i want. Il hide in its veil... from whatever... and just enjoy the feeling of an enourmous force that is not ruled by petty human nature like everything else is...

Of course there is no real waiting for such a thing... for though its happening is inevitable... its timing is completely unknown. So much so that in all reality, it is not expected for at least another two months. But here i am sniffing away at the overheated ground that is ready and calling for it and the sky which is returning its call.... in some way or another!

But hey, i havnt finished writing and the suns already fought its way through a couple of determined clouds!! he he... hmm... the Ahmedabad sun... always prevailing!! Hmmm.... this wait for monsoon is always sooooo bloody long!

Half song

Nobody deserves to be treated this way,
Not even me with my sins circling my head
Sins appointed by this asinine society of ours
And the christian community too
(though i am not a part of them).
So fuck off, now that your done fucking me
It was too good to resist at the time
And it just turned out well for you
But you loved it too, i heard it in your breathing
Now its cold cause you left me outside
You and your warmth walked the opposite direction
Leaving me to stagger into darkness for shelter

This is a half song, incomplete as a reflection of me
as a reflection of your sensitivity and cold heart...

The Swaminathan Women

Its my grandmom's b'day tomorrow and long story short... a lot of her side of the family have flown down to A'bad for it.... here are some people i have never met in my entire life... or at least not since i was two... of the 10 or so people most are women... women who are strong... women with mothers and children... women who love to laugh and love.... women who live life the way they want to without a man to lead them.... women with daughters... crazy women .... Swaminathan women!!!

I dont know these women but i love them... they are amazing... what strength and courage... this is my family... my roots... and how simple yet important it is to feel like you belong... and i felt it... today... one of those rare times when i think i really do belong... these are people i want to be.. want to learn from... i dont know how to put my feelings into words... but suddenly i feel less liek a freak... or at least... less like a freak alone... heh... i know whereever i am, they are behind me... around me.... inside me... there are fireworks that have set themselves off inside me... my blood is the same as theirs... i have a family that is like me.... me... me who is so different.... iv found a part of me... and it feels so good to be part of something.... to be part of something while still being your true self